The Truth

I sat down at my computer this morning to write a really happy post about fall and how it's the best season to curl up with a cup of tea and a good book, but I just can't get the words out.  Because I'll be honest, this Star Sisters journey is a bit of a roller coaster and sometimes it gets to me.  School's been in session for a few weeks now and everyone seems to be hitting their strides and getting back into the swing of things.  My kids are busy with ballet and art and soccer and more art.  My mom friends are busy getting back to work or with tennis league try-outs and all the amazing volunteering work they do.  

And sometimes I feel like I'm still just here.  Sitting at my same desk, all alone, plugging away.  I LOVE my books.  I'm so proud of my books.  I still can't believe that I took this tiny inkling of an idea and turned it into a beautiful, professional chapter book series that just received an awesome review in Publisher's Weekly (a huge feat for an independently published book, probably one of my biggest accomplishments so far).  But man, sometimes I get so tired of doing it all alone.  I get tired of my head always spinning with ways that I can promote my books and get the word out.  I get tired of obsessing over details and sales numbers and website hits.  I get tired of feeling like I'm always chasing something that I can't quite reach.  I get tired of grasping at every little straw.  I get tired of sitting here by myself.

But here's the thing, I feel a little better already.  That's what writing does for me.  Just getting these thoughts out of my head feels good.  I read a lot of blogs, and the thing I respond to the most is honesty.  I love an inspiring home tour or round up of the latest fall fashion trends as much as the next girl, but I also love reading about what people in creative careers are really struggling with.  Because I've wanted to dive into this world for so long.  For years I would read about women starting their own creative businesses and know that this is what I was meant to do.  I just knew it.  Now that I'm here, I think it's only fair to be honest that it's hard.  It's challenging and lonely and it takes a ton of work.  At least for me, it comes with a heavy serving of self-doubt.  But I wouldn't have it any other way and I'm not going anywhere.  Lonely days and all.

You know that else keeps me going?  The little ladies in the picture in the above.  Yesterday they woke up to find the first printed copy of Star Sisters and The Best Seller waiting for their review.  It was a great moment.  The kind of moment that makes everything else worth it.  The book is coming out next week and I promise I'll tell you all about it.  It's an awesome story that will inspire everyone out there to dream big - something I try and do every day.